Married to a Rock Star
 by: Hankster

© 2022 by the author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

hankster@tickiestories.us

Prologue 

“Real life is stranger than fiction.” 

At least, that’s what I’ve heard many times.  I’m a sceptic, so I didn’t much believe it, or even pay attention to it.  Then the most bizarre thing happened to me.  You better start believing in that old chestnut, because I believe it now.  I think you will also, when you read this story.

I’ll start this crazy tale by admitting to you that I’m a total nerd.  I teach high school science in Brooklyn, NY, and I’ve been told that my students love me.  If so, they are the only ones who do.  I’m totally inept, shy, and withdrawn.  I rarely have sex, but I’m not discouraged.  I’m thirty-one years old, and I’m still looking and hoping.  I think it’s called optimism.

I know I’m good looking, but my personality stands in the way of anybody noticing me.  I’m exactly six feet tall.  My body is muscular, with hardly any fat.  I work out regularly at a neighborhood gym.  It helps me keep my sexual urges in check.  My hair is brown, as are my eyes.  My eyes are a deep, dark brown.  I think they’re very sensuous, but as I said, nobody seems to notice. 

Hardly anybody is aware of this, nor do they care, but I’m very well endowed.  I’m circumcised.  My cock hangs far below my balls.  It’s at least five inches flaccid, maybe a skosh more.  It erects to eight inches, and as a bonus, it’s quite hefty.  The reason I tell you this is to advise you that I’m gay.  I’m pretty masculine, and I was a jock in high school and college, so people are surprised when they learn that I’m bent.  So much for stereotypes.

My best friend in the world is Joe Gallo.  We grew up next door to each other.  Joe was born two days before I was.  He doesn’t seem to have any more luck in the sex department than I do.  We’re like brothers.  I love him more than anybody else in my life, but we have never had sex or made love, nor will we ever.  Some people may be capable of fucking their brother, but Joe and I would find it too weird.  Besides that, he’s straight.  I know it’s crazy, but the subject of sexual orientation has never come up.  Fortunately, it’s of no importance to either of us.  We’re brothers.  That’s it.  Bottom line.

Joe teaches high school history, but we teach in different schools.  We’re both off all summer long.  He never married either, so every summer we try to get away for a week or two.  We’d like to go to some super exotic location, like Bali or Fiji, but we can’t afford the trip, so we’ve never been to those places.  After much discussion, we decided to do something different, and still within our budgets, so we planned on an exotic holiday in the good old USA.

In spite of the scorching summer heat, we honed in on Las Vegas.  We thought it would be exciting, if not exotic.  Neither of us planned on gambling.  It wasn’t anything either of us enjoyed doing.  We worked hard for a living, and we weren’t going to piss it away.   We chose Vegas because we wanted to see some of the shows, and visit the fabulous hotels.  It certainly wasn’t a gambling trip.

We booked a room, for a week’s stay, in a first class, fancy hotel.   We wanted to be on The Strip.  It was the cheapest room we could get, and it was still expensive.  It was right next door to the hotel’s kitchen, but the hotel was located in the middle of all the action, so we accepted that minor inconvenience.  Don’t accuse us of being misers.  Remember, teachers are vastly underpaid.  I should have been an athlete or a rock star.  My story begins the very evening we checked into the hotel.

-1-

In spite of the fact that the sun had gone down about a half hour earlier, the outside temperature was 109 ^ͦ F.  At least the humidity was in the single digits.  Joe and I were not deterred by the oppressive conditions.  In fact, we appreciated the low humidity.  We dressed as skimpily as possible.  I was uncomfortable, but Joe was fine with it.  When we went through the lobby, we saw a placard indicating that Johnny Burns would be entertaining in the hotel’s dining room all this week.  This very night marked his final appearance.  There were two shows a night, at 6PM and 10PM.  Johnny is a very famous song writer and rock star.  Please don’t reveal my secret.  I’m a big fan of his.  I’ve downloaded all of his albums on my I Phone.  Joe and I agreed to go to tonight’s late show,

I’m sure that Johnny was filthy rich, but I didn’t envy him his money.  However, I was jealous that he got to travel and perform all over the world.  Joe and I were limited to a short annual vacation, usually close to home, the USA that is.  It was all we could afford.

We didn’t do anything exciting.  We ambled along the strip, and dropped in on some of the hotels and casinos.  At least we could go home and report to our friends that Vegas was as fabulous as its reputation.  Believe me, we didn’t do anything that evening that had to “stay in Vegas.”

We didn’t realize the passage of time. When we got back to our hotel, it was nearly midnight.  I was definitely disappointed that we had missed Johnny’s final appearance.  A slew of people were just leaving the dining room, and they came out in a mob right next to us.  Someone bumped into me, and grabbed my arm.

“Come on,” he said, “Johnny’s making a bash in his suite, and everyone’s invited.”

I told you, I’m a big fan, and I desperately wanted to go, but Joe declined.

“I’m really tired,” he told me.  “You go have fun.  I just want to go to sleep.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

Before I could say anything, Joe was gone, and I was being dragged along as part of the mob scene.  Well, it wasn’t really a mob.  There were no more than ten men in our group, including me.  They were of varying ages.  I didn’t see any women, but I was unaware of it at the time.  I preferred the company of men, anyway.

When I entered the suite, I was awe struck.  It was a palace compared to my single room.  I just had to tell myself how rich Johnny was.  I was further surprised to see him in the room.  I guess I expected him to host this shindig, but not participate.  Wrong!  Johnny already had a drink in his hand.  He was talking to a bartender, who was standing at a roving bar.  The great man himself spoke to his guests, and I got shock after shock.

“Hi guys,” he said.  “Will someone please close the door.  I’d like the party to be intimate.  This might come as a surprise to you all, but I hate to be alone in a strange place.  That’s why I’m making this party.  Please relax, drink, be merry, and do whatever comes naturally.”

What the fuck was he talking about?

The party did get a little raucous, and I found myself standing aside just observing.  My observations were paying off.  First of all, I realized that there were a lot of gay men in the room.  There was a lot of cock grabbing going on.  I saw Johnny standing at the other side of the room.  He wasn’t participating either.  He was just observing also, just as I was.

I saw his eyes when he spotted me.  He smiled at me, and he started to walk over to my niche, which was out of the way, of course.  Could it be that Johnny was a secret nerd, and that we had that in common?  I began to shake in my boots.  What could I possibly find to talk about with this icon.  Hell! I was uncomfortable talking to my peers.  He was walking right toward me.  I was a captive audience, frozen in my spot.

He stuck out his hand and I shook it.  I was speechless, so Johnny asked, “And your name is?”

“Sorry,” I said, “I’m Charles Angelo.  Everyone calls me Charlie.”

Johnny gripped my hand tighter.  He smiled at me and said, “I’ve had a party every night since I started my gig here, and I don’t remember seeing you here before.  If you think that’s a pick-up line, it is.”

Johnny left me flabbergasted and speechless again.  Finally, I blurted out, “I just arrived late this afternoon.”

“Shit, I’m leaving tomorrow morning.  Do you think we could go to your room?”  It struck me like a falling two by four building beam.   All the men here were gay.  Johnny was gay also, and I never knew it.  I may be a nerd, but I wasn’t going to blow this one.

“I have a roommate, and you’ve got a suite here,” I told him what was obvious.  “Maybe we could sneak into the bedroom, and close the door.”

He smiled and said, “That’s a plan.”  He eyed my buff body and added, “You’re hot, man, and you have the most beautiful eyes.”

That was definitely a first for me.  At last somebody noticed me and my sensuous eyes.  No, not somebody, Johnny Burns.  I damn near passed out.

Johnny was still holding my hand from our welcoming hand shake.  He pulled me to the bar.  “Let’s have a drink before we disappear, and we’ll learn more about each other.”

I needed to bolster my courage, not to mention bolstering my self-esteem, so I asked for a scotch nice and neat.  Johnny looked surprised.  He ordered a scotch and soda.  Then he asked me to tell him all about myself.  I told him too much, right down to how nerdy I was.  For some reason, he found that hard to believe.  I didn’t believe him, and assumed that he was just being kind.

Our one drink turned into one drink after another.  While we were talking and drinking, Johnny and I were giving each other little kisses on our cheeks and lips.  The kisses were very furtive, and very dry.  I lost count of the number of drinks I had, but the last thing I remember is starting another scotch straight up.  After that I don’t remember anything until I woke up the following morning.  The bed and the room were strange to me.  I had to believe that it was Johnny’s bedroom and his bed.  It was a good guess.  Johnny was lying right beside me.  He was as naked as I was.

I didn’t know if we had sex the night before, or not.  My mind was a blank.  If we did have sex, I wanted to kick myself in the ass for not remembering.  I concluded that there was no sex.  I couldn’t compute that nerdy me could have had sex with the greatest sex icon of all, Johnny Burns.

I got up and ran to the bathroom.  I had to pee badly.  I glanced at my watch.  It was only 5 AM.  I didn’t know what to do, so I climbed back into bed.  I began to debate with myself if it would be wise to hunker up to Johnny.  I sure as hell wanted to.  While I was debating, Johnny rolled over.  He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.   He held me like a vise.  I could hardly breathe, much less get away from his grip.  He was circumcised, hard, and at least as well-endowed as I was.  I was surprised that he was cut, but I wouldn’t have been, if I knew then that his legal name was Jonas Bernstein.  I found that out later.  He was fast asleep, so I surrendered and fell asleep in his arms.

About eight in the morning, I was awakened in the best way I know how.  Johnny was giving me a blow job.  Someone came into the room and opened the curtains.  The room was suddenly illuminated with bright sunshine.

“What the fuck?” Johnny blurted out.  There went my blow job.

The guy, who opened the curtains said to me, “Okay Buddy, you can go now, and boast to your friends that you slept with Johnny Burns.”

‘He’s not going anywhere,” Johnny said to the man who menaced me.  We got married last night.  He’s my husband.”

I gasped.  The stranger gasped louder, and Johnny said, “Charlie, honey, this guy’s name is Bernie West.  He’s my manager, and one more remark like that, and he’ll be my former manager.”

Somehow, in spite of my utter shock, I managed to find my voice.  I looked straight at Bernie, and snarled.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” I said.  “I’m not that kind of a bastard.”

I suppose that Bernie found his voice also.  “Get up,” he said to both of us.  “I’ll order room service, and then we’ll talk about this.  We must.”

-2-

Somehow Johnny and I brushed our teeth with Johnny’s tooth brush.  Our clothes were strewn all over the floor.  We separated our garments and got dressed.  The first thing Bernie said while we were having coffee and Danish pastry was, “We’ll get this farce annulled.  Nobody has to know about it.”

“Not on your fucking life,” Johnny yelled out.  “If Charlie wants to get an annulment, I’ll honor his wishes.”  He turned to me.  “Please, Charlie, give us a chance,” he pleaded.

Then he looked at Bernie.  “Do you see what good PR this is?  The whole world will know that I’m not a snob.  I’m in love with an ordinary guy.  I mean a great ordinary guy, a school teacher, no less.”

“May I remind you,” Bernie said, “that you’re in the closet.”

“I’ll come out.  It’s time.  Let me repeat, I fell in love with Johnny, and I really, really want to stay married to him.”

Johnny walked over to his dresser.  There were some papers on it, which he showed to Bernie.

“It’s all legal, as you can see here,” he said.  “These are our marriage records from the wedding chapel.”

Bernie and I examined the marriage certificate.  Clearly, Calvin Angelo and Jonas Bernstein were legally wed.

I was still reeling.  I couldn’t think straight, but I did know one thing.  Johnny was asking a lot of me, if he wanted me to be a token groom and feed his image.  I needed to talk to him alone.

“Bernie,” I said, “would you mind leaving us for a while.  I need to talk privately to Johnny about this.”

“Good idea.  That’ll give me a chance to prepare the press releases,” he said.  “But I want to urge you, Charlie, think hard about what it would be like to be married to this man.  His profession will give you a lot of grief.  You’ll have long separations and you’ll be hounded by the paparazzi.”

“I agree,” I said.  “That’s why I need to have a private conversation with Johnny.”

‘Very wise,” Bernie said. 

He left the room and Johnny and I were alone.  I engaged the security lock on the door, and turned to Johnny.  I got another shock.  This iconic idol wrapped himself around me, and I could feel tears on his cheek.  “Please,” he said, “don’t leave me.  I swear I fell in love with you last night.  I want to spend my life with you.  I know how difficult it will be for you, but I love you enough to make it work.”

“Okay,” I said, “we’ll talk, but first I have to know what happened last night.  I don’t remember a fucking thing.  The last thing I remember, is getting another drink from the bar.”

Johnny sat down on a boudoir chair.  He sighed, and I could feel his brain cells working.  He was finding the right words to begin his tale of epic proportions.

“We were having one drink after another, and we started to give each other little closed mouth kisses, on our cheeks mostly, but sometimes on our lips.  The more we did this, the more I realized that you were special.  I never felt like this with anyone else before.  Finally, I opened my mouth, and our kisses got wetter and wetter.  I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and called the front desk.  I asked them to bring around my car.  I took your hand and ran to the elevator with you.  You didn’t resist me.”

“How could I resist you?” I interrupted.  “I must have been comatose.  I don’t remember any of this.  I hardly ever drink.  I’m sure you hold your liquor better than I do.  What happened next?”

“I had my driver take us to the nearest wedding chapel, and we got married.  For your information, you said, ‘I do!’ as fervently as I did.  You really sounded like you meant it.”

“We woke up naked in bed together.  Did we consummate the marriage?” I asked.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted a yes or a no answer.

“We sure did, Charlie.  How could you not remember?  We made love until we both passed out.  It was real love, not the heat of a passionate moment.  I’m in love with you Charlie.  I know this is coming as a big shock to you.  I’m begging you to give that lots of thought.  I hope you can learn to love me as much as I love you.  You’re real and you're honest.  You’re not looking for any favors from me like all those entourage leaches, who hover around me all the time.”

Before I can give you an answer,” I said jokingly, you’ll have to refresh my memory.  I don’t remember last night at all.”

Johnny smiled and started to take off his clothes.  I did likewise, and we fell back on the bed.

“Thanks for double locking the door,” Johnny said.  “Bernie can’t interrupt us.” 

With that said, he fell on top of me and gave me a luscious, intense, trip around the world.  I hadn’t had many of those in my lifetime, but I sensed his passion.  He ended up taking my cock in his mouth, but he stopped sucking it before I came.  From out of nowhere, he produced a condom and lube.  He put the condom on me, and lubed it generously.  He did the same to his bubbly ass.  He straddled me and took my cock into his man hole.

“You sure are big,” he muttered.  “I love it.  I love you.”

I came and Johnny fell on top of me.  He smothered me with kisses, and I had to beg him to stop, and get off me.

“I don’t want to stop,” he sobbed.  “Why do you want me to stop?”

“So I can do that to you.”

Johnny smiled, got off me, and we made love again, in reverse.  Afterward, we were lying spent, holding hands, and I dared ask, “How can we make it work?”

“For starters,” he said, “I’m going on tour next week.  School won’t be starting for another five weeks.  Come with me.  I’ll show you off to everybody.  The press will bug us, but I swear, I’ll protect you.”

“It’s not that simple,” I said.  “I came here with my straight brother.  Shit, I better call him.  He must be frantic wondering where I am.  I hope he didn’t call the police or hotel security.”

“No problem.  Call him and invite him to come along with us.  It’ll be fun.  There are plenty of women I can introduce him to.”

“What happens when I have to go home to go back to work?”

“As soon as the tour is over, I’ll come home to you.  I’ll live with you in your apartment.  I want you to continue to teach.  It’s certainly a more noble profession than mine.”

You expect me to believe that Johnny Burns will live in a one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn?”

“Charlie, dearest Charlie, you’re hung up on my public persona.  I grew up in a two bedroom apartment in The Bronx.  I shared my bedroom with three brothers.  We had two sets of bunk beds.  We’re all grown and out of the house now, but when I go home to see my folks, I still sleep on one of the bunk beds.  Two grown men in a one bedroom apartment will be a pleasure for me.”

“And what will you do all day while I’m at work?”

“I rent a studio in downtown Manhattan where I write.  I’ll go there every day, and compose.  I haven’t cut a new album in a couple of years.  It’s time.”

“I know,” I said.

“You know?  How?”

“I’ve downloaded every one of your albums and your singles to my phone.  You just reminded me that it’s been a long time since I’ve done that.”

“You little devil,” Johnny said, as he grabbed me and resumed kissing me.  When he came up for air, he asked, “Are you a fan?”

“I’m your biggest fan, Johnny.  If I go on the road with you, I’ll be your biggest groupie ever.”

“Please,” Johnny said. “Not if, but when.  If you're worried that your apartment is too small, I’ll rent us a bigger one near your school.  Don’t get hung up over spending OUR money.  It’ll be my apartment also.”

“Okay, but I pay half the rent.”

“Of course,” Johnny laughed, and he grabbed me in a bear hug.

My life, up to then, had been boring and dull.  I decided to go with Johnny, and see what fate had in store for us.  If it didn’t work out, I could always get the annulment Bernie wants us to have.

Bernie began to rap on the door, and Johnny let him in.  He was finally enthusiastic about the publicity Johnny’s marriage would generate.  I called Joe, and told him that I married Johnny Burns, and we were going on the road with him, at least until school begins.

Of course, he didn’t believe a word of it.

Touring with my husband was a blast.  We were pursued constantly by the press, but Johnny ignored them, and I learned soon enough to ignore them too.  I was an expert at being ignored, so I knew well enough how to be the ignorer for a change.  Everywhere we went, every city we went to, we partied almost every night.  Johnny and I always got home early enough to make love.  We never came home drunk.  We drank very little at these parties.  It was obligatory to attend them for business reasons, and to maintain Johnny’s image.  I began to love my husband as much as he said that he loved me.

At every party we went to, Joe was introduced as Johnny’s brother in-law.  When the women heard that bit of information, gorgeous ladies were all over him.  He had more nookie in just the first week, than he had his whole life up to them.  He was having fun, and not getting involved.  That was OK with me.  What thrilled me even more was that he and Johnny seemed to like each other.  They were bonding as brothers.

One day, I had an epiphany, Johnny, Joe, Bernie, and I were becoming a family, and I began to doubt that I ever wanted to leave my husband.  Up until the moment I realized that little fact, I had every intention of annulling our marriage.  I just didn’t think it would work, but now I had something else to fret about.  I wondered what would happen after the tour.

Epilogue

When the tour ended, Johnny rented a three bedroom apartment near my school.  He said we needed extra bedrooms for guests, especially for his brothers and their wives.  All of them lived out of town.  We also needed the extra room for visits from our parents, who were all retired, and making plans to move to a warm climate.

After we got settled in our new home, Johnny commuted by subway to his studio in Manhattan.  He wore a baseball cap pulled way down over his head.  He added sun glasses, even when it was raining.   In all that time, nobody recognized him.  Anyhow, who would believe that Johnny Burns used the New York City subway system.  They would expect him to be chauffeured around in a limo.  

Johnny worked for over a year before he completed all the songs for his album.  During that time we never partied, much to Bernie’s chagrin.  We preferred to stay home and make love.  Although our marriage was unorthodox, we couldn’t be happier if we had dated for months before tying the knot.  When the album was released it went platinum before the first week was over.

Although Johnny didn’t go on tour while composing songs for his album, Bernie got him a weekend gig in Provincetown, MA.  He started the gig exactly one year from the date we had met the previous summer.  Since he came out, Johnny had become an even bigger icon in the gay community than he had been before, and Provincetown was a Mecca for gay vacationers.

Something happened that weekend, which once again, you won’t believe.  There was a mix up in our reservations, and Joe and Bernie had to share a room.  The first night, as they were getting ready to go to bed, Joe pointed out that they were surrounded by gay men. 

Bernie remarked, “I wonder what the attraction is?”

“Would you like to find out?” Joe asked.

“Why not?  Let’s have some fun.” 

They never left their room all weekend, and now they’re a loving couple.

*****

I told you at the beginning to please believe that real life is stranger than fiction.  It’s hard to refute that old adage after reading this bizarre tale.

I also ask you to believe that Joe and I aren’t nerdy anymore.  We are followed everywhere, and everybody notices us.  Our students are particularly attentive, and as teachers, we appreciate that.

Posted: 07/22/2022